Cute Babies

How do you explain parenting, perhaps you can’t, but we do believe that most parents instinctively do the right thing most of the time.

The most important part of parenting is that a baby or child feels loved, secure and confident, but in reality we all know that there are times when we need a helping hand to deal with the diverse and extensive range of parenting issues that you will encounter and we are here to help.

1. When your baby cries, pick him or her up. Your mother or grandmother might tell you this is spoiling your baby, but during the first twelve months or so your baby does not cry to manipulate you but instead to let you know something needs your attention. It might be a wet diaper, or a hungry stomach, or tired eyes; it might also be fear of something new, feeling unwell due to a cold, or simply needing the reassurance and emotional support of being held and rocked. Attending promptly to a crying baby also teaches your child something very important: he or she can depend on you to provide what is needed, without having to carry on or cry for a very long time. A baby who can depend on you to take care of his or her needs will cry less often because it is less necessary to cry for long periods of time.

2. Teach your child the words “no”, “okay”, and “stop”. You are responsible for your baby’s safety as well as training and discipline in appropriate behavior. These three words are simple, to the point, and if your child understands and obeys them you will benefit a great deal. “No” and “okay” are for helping a child distinguish between what is and isn’t acceptable. Throwing a book is a “no”, but turning the pages gently is “okay”; grabbing the dog or cat by the tail is a “no”, but letting you guide his or her hand gently over the pet’s fur is “okay”. Once your child become mobile, the word “stop” becomes extremely important. A toddler, for example, should be taught that “stop” means stand still immediately; this is very useful if your child starts to run across the street, for example, or run toward a dangerous area.

3. Follow through. This is critical to your success as a parent because it trains your child to make good choices. Let’s say your baby is banging on the screen of your TV and you tell her “no”. She keeps banging and you keep telling her “no”, until you’re frustrated and give up, just letting her keep on banging. Your child learns, then, that you don’t really mean it when you say “no” and if she keeps at it long enough you’ll eventually give in. By failing to follow through and enforce “no” establish a negative pattern and set the stage for more power struggles down the road.

4. Never threaten a consequence you’re not willing and able to enforce. This is a variation on follow through because it teaches a child you mean what you say. You’ve probably seen a parent in the grocery store or department store at some time, with a child misbehaving or throwing a tantrum. The parent says, “stop crying or we’ll leave” or “put that doll back on the shelf or I will take away all of your dolls at home”, but the threatened consequence never materializes. The child learns, then, that such a threat can safely be ignored, but something else happens too. The second example, taking away all of a child’s dolls at home, is out of proportion to what the child is doing wrong. It is too big, too harsh, and is not likely to be enforced, so once again the child learns not to take the threat of consequences seriously.

5. Catch your child doing the right thing and offer praise. Children respond far more favorably to praise than to criticism, so it’s important to catch your child doing the right thing and immediately offer praise. If he is putting his blocks back into the box without throwing them, for instance, say something like, “Good job! I like the way you’re putting the blocks away gently.” This kind of praise helps your child understand the kind of behavior you expect and makes him or her more willing to exhibit that behavior. Of course there will be times where you have to correct your child and stop an inappropriate behavior, but a good rule of thumb is to offer seven to ten instances of praise for every one instance of correction. Your child enjoys hearing praise much more than correction so will make an effort to do the things that generate the praise.